Households scatter. A son is at university, a daughter works abroad, somebody is away for a fortnight, and the family dog dies on a Tuesday while they are all somewhere else. Heavenly Pastures arranges pet cremations for families in Aughton and the surrounding area. A word on where we are, since Aughton is unusually close. There is no branch of ours in the village and no crematorium in it, but our site at Burscough is only a short distance away, which makes this one of the nearest places to us of anywhere we serve.
Delivering News Nobody Wants From a Distance
The difficulty is not only what to say. It is that you are about to upset somebody badly and then hang up, leaving them alone in a flat in another country with no way to help. There is no version of that call that goes well, and the aim is only to make it as unhurtful as it can reasonably be.
Do Not Do It by Text
Whatever the temptation, and it is considerable because a text avoids the crying, ring them. Being told by message that a dog they grew up with has died is something people remember with a particular sting. If you cannot manage a call yourself, ask somebody else in the household to make it rather than defaulting to writing. If the time difference makes a call genuinely impossible for a day, a short message saying you need to speak to them, without the news in it, is better than either extreme.
Timing the Call
Think briefly about when. Telling somebody an hour before an exam, a shift or a flight is a decision worth pausing over, and there is usually a slightly better window a few hours later. That said, do not leave it days. People are consistently more upset about having been kept in the dark than about having been told at an awkward moment, and finding out late that everybody knew is its own injury. A day is usually forgivable. A week rarely is, particularly to somebody who would have wanted the chance to come home.
Say It Plainly and Early in the Call
Do not lead up to it. A minute of unusual small talk tells them something is wrong and gives them a minute to imagine something worse. Say what has happened in the first sentence, then let them react without filling the silence. Have the details ready, because they will want to know whether it was quick and whether anybody was with them. Answer honestly even if the answer is no, because it will come out eventually and being managed is worse than being told.
Whether to Wait for Them
Somebody far away may ask you to wait until they can get home. That is usually possible, and your animal can be kept properly for a period rather than everything happening immediately. Whether it is practical depends on how long, so ring and ask rather than promising something you are unsure of. Where waiting is not workable, a video call while somebody says goodbye is something families do more often than you might think, and it helps more than people expect. A few minutes on a screen with the animal, saying whatever they want to say, gives somebody at a distance the goodbye they would otherwise have been denied entirely.
Students in Particular
A first-year student who has lost the dog they grew up with is frequently in their first genuinely difficult experience away from home, without the people who would ordinarily absorb it. Universities have wellbeing services that will take this seriously, and it is worth saying so to them, because a lot of young people assume grief for a pet does not count as a reason to ask for help. It does, including for coursework extensions.
The Decision the Household Has to Make
There is a choice to settle. An individual cremation service means your animal alone throughout, with ashes returned to you afterwards. A communal cremation service involves several animals together and returns nothing to any family. Where somebody is away, this is worth discussing with them rather than presenting as done, because people who were not consulted about a family animal tend to carry that for a while. Costs are on the pet cremation price list.
Something to Do From a Distance
Somebody who could not be there often needs a way to take part. Choosing where ashes go, writing something, or leaving a picture and some words in the Remembrance section of this website, all give somebody at a distance something to do besides feel helpless. Families sometimes wait and scatter ashes together at Christmas when everybody is home, which gives the person who missed everything a proper part in it rather than an account of what happened without them.
Being Close By
Because Aughton sits so near Burscough, collection is quick and straightforward, and bringing your animal over yourself is easy if you would rather. Costs follow travel time out from Burscough and are correspondingly low from here, with the bands on the areas we cover page. There is a chapel of rest if somebody arriving home later wants to see them.
Ringing Us
Call 01704 776976, including to ask how long your animal could be kept while somebody travels. It is a common question. The contact form is there if you would rather write.